To Give or Not to Give is a title I thought up since that is basically what this post is about. I am at a dilemma in my life. For years I have played Go and found great joy in it. It was my dream for a while now to become a Professional Go Instructor. Even if I never gained the skill to play at Professional level, or ever get that P next to my name instead of a D for amateur Dan, I really wanted to find a way to make a living teaching Go. I knew how unlikely it was going in, I knew that it was nearly impossible for a westerner to ever make a living playing or teaching Go. The fact that it was a dream I wanted so desperately to turn into reality is what kept me going.
Now as it turns out, just maybe there is a chance for that dream to become reality. Many people know that I have a youtube channel with over 2k subscribers and 285,000+ views at youtube.com/clossius. I have loved hearing over the years that my videos were how some people learned how to play Go. Recently I also started to get into Twitch streaming. Although starting off slow, it is slowly building to where I have 100+ subscribers, and I average 15-20 live viewers per session. Lastly, with the Patreon website, I have started to earn a little income. But this isn't enough for me to survive...I have now come to a life decision making point. On the one hand I pursue computer science fully, give up on teaching Go as anything more than a hobby I barely have time for and get a normal job in society and start planning for a future family that I may get, get a house, and save for retirement. The average person's expected life. Or I can invest my entire life to go to Myongji University in South Korea on a fully payed scholarship for Baduk Studies, graduate, and dedicate my entire life to spreading and teaching Go over the internet, conventions, schools, and wherever else I can get.
Financially speaking, the computer Science is far more sound, I'm not bad at it, but it won't be my dream job of course. The expected pay out is starting 20k Salary up to 60k in a couple decades with possible 100k salary end plans. With a Bachelor's degree in Baduk studies, I will plan to teach online mostly, and teach English in Asia during the school season's on a 30k+ starting salary, and work my way up to a 50k Salary. Above that will be difficult to achieve, but with the help of the Go community, and a tight budget, I plan to use what I make to travel as many places as possible to teach Go whenever and wherever I can. I would be living my dream, but also walking a tight rope. Both are realistic results, and both are possibilities that will determine how I live the rest of my life. But I only get one life right??
I will be completely honest, this decision is scaring me so much, it is terrifying since I don't want to mess it up or regret it later. I honestly do want to pursue my dreams and work my hardest at it, but will I end up in a position where I can't even afford a decent living and become unable to care for myself, much less a future family? Or do I take the more secure rout and always wonder, what if I had followed my dreams? This is likely one of the scariest choices I'll ever have to make...but this is my life right? Why can I not devote myself to pursuing the thing I want to do so bad in life that I'm willing to risk my entire future on it? Why can I not find a way to live in this society while also living a dream I've had for nearly a decade?
That is how I have come to the conclusion that I did. I'm an adult, and I have bills. I owe car payments, school loans, and credit card bills. Not to mention I owe many others for the help they have given me to go to Korea before. I refuse not to pay off what I owe. I'm not a person who takes and doesn't return what he owes. But I want to pursue my dream. I want to so bad I can't stand it. So I am going to dedicate the next half year to raise my donations and Patreon account to $1,000 a month. That is a bare minimum required to pay my debt and keep the absolute minimum living expenses. If I reach my goal, I plan to attend Myongji University and dedicate the rest of my life to teaching English for minimum income and travel expenses, and travel teaching Go as far and as wide as I can for as long as I can.
If I cannot even make the bare minimum goal, I plan to face reality and focus on computer science and plan for retirement 40 or 50 years from now, and save up to get a house. I will likely teach Go, but it will become nothing more than a hobby in my free time when I am not programming.
I will admit, this is an extremely difficult goal to reach for any Go player. But there are thousands upon thousand of Go players around the world. There are over 15,000 English speaking Go players. If even half of those donated $1 a month to help support me become an amateur Go player but Professional Go instructor, I would make $7.5k a month. That is $90,000 a year, one of the best salaries an average person can ask for. If %50 of all Go players donated $10 a month, I would make nearly a million dollars a year. Of course this is nothing but a optimistic dream, but dream become reality only through hard work, firm conviction, and unwavering faith.
Thus, I am aiming to gain to support from less than %10 of the entire English speaking community, this is but a very small percent of the entire Go population in the world. If I can reach my goal, I will live what life I have to and work to get the rest I need in order to live a life dedicated to teaching Go.
If you would like to support my choice to try and pursue this life style, then visit https://www.patreon.com/clossius and donate whatever you think I'm worth, and then spread this article as far as possible and re-share it later. If you think I am out of my mind, that is completely fine too. Don't donate, and if I don't reach my goal, I will pursue a normal life in society and live the way I am expected for my future. I truly don't know what the right choice is, but I cannot give up my life's dream without first at least trying.
Thanks to everyone who has supported my so far, and to all those who support me in the future. I am truly blessed to have found Go, and this is my first step to dedicating the rest of my life to living it.
Links:
https://www.facebook.com/shawn.ray.7777
http://www.youtube.com/Clossius
https://www.patreon.com/clossius
https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ShawnRay/posts
This is probably not a good thing to mention, but the salary figures you cite for a computer science job are actually quite modest. Software engineers are well-compensated and very much in-demand right now.
ReplyDeleteI would also add, though, that you don't have to be a computer science grad to be a software engineer: I'm not. I studied philosophy and literature. But because I love coding, I taught myself with personal projects over years and years. It's not a perfect job, but if you like to code, you can't keep yourself away. Frankly, software development can be perfect misery: I wouldn't wish it on anyone who didn't take tons of pleasure in solving thorny problems in interesting ways.
If you enjoy computer science, you can keep learning even as you work toward your dream of teaching go, no degree required.
Nate is very much correct. I was originally an English major, editor of the college newspaper, etc. However, I happen to be good at problem solving and abstraction, and found that I read programming languages much as I read English. I switched majors because I knew the field would offer me a much better ability to support a wife and kids.
DeleteI don't regret making that decision, myself, in that I did it knowing well that it was a sacrifice for my future family (I now have 3 kids and have been married 18 years). In the time I've been married, I've quadrupled the salary I was paid at the time.
Do I love what I do? NO! It was never my dream job. My perfect job would be in a tweed jacket teaching Shakespeare or creative writing, and playing Go every minute I could. But that wasn't for me.
Follow your heart. Make your decision solely based on what you feel is truly the right decision for you and your future. Do I regret my choice? No! Do I wish I could win the $600 million powerball and do what I truly love? You betcha!!!!!!
Best of luck!